Let's face it: household chores aren't exactly on the list of the most exciting activities out there. But it's amazing how much they can be improved with a drink or two! Post Grad Problems has compiled a handy list of which alcohols pair best with your daily errands:
1. Mowing the lawn and Coors Light. Mowing the lawn is hot, sweaty work. Between the strain of pull-starting your crummy mower, dragging it around the grass and breathing in hot exhaust under the summer sun, you need something to cool you down. And what cools you off better than an ice cold Coors Light? (Pat's note: Genny Light or any other local beer is also acceptable!)
2. Watching your kid play sports and Vodka-Sprite. Parents, can you be honest with me for a second? I know your kid is, like, the love of your life, and you support them in all they do, and they’re special and talented and magical and everything. But watching them play sports is boring as heck. And if your kid is under 10, I’m using the word “sport” pretty loosely. No way are you truly captivated watching your child eat dandelion in the outfield or take 25 minutes to lightly tap a soccer ball ten yards. Luckily, I have a solution: Vodka-Sprite. It’s versatile, it’s low-calorie and, most importantly, it just looks like a Sprite.
3. Going to IKEA and Whiskey Coke. If you’re going to the perplexing maze that is IKEA, you need to be prepared. If you go in sober, you’re going to find yourself crying into a plate of meatballs over your failed relationship faster than you can say LANDSKRONA™ Sectional Sofa. No. To survive this ordeal, you must get properly loaded. Drink four shots of whiskey and chase it with a can of coke in your 2014 Toyota Sienna, then storm that blue warehouse like you’re a dark angel descending on Valhalla.
4. Parent-Teacher Conferences and Wine. If you think you can handle a parent-teacher conference sober, be my guest. An hour of some woman four years your junior using peppiness and cheer to disguise how much she’s smack-talking your kid? Criticizing their learning skills? Criticizing your parenting abilities? You can’t handle that without several glasses of your favorite second-shelf-from-the-bottom red blend.
5. Shoveling snow and Whiskey. The winter version of mowing your lawn, yet worse, of course, because winter is the worst thing that’s ever existed. Your gut instinct will be to warm up with a Hot Toddy or Irish Coffee, but that’s a rookie move. That warm drink will soon turn cold, and all it’s doing is taking up valuable real estate in your stomach that could be filled with more booze. Pound whiskey until you can’t feel the numbness, both in your feet and in your soul (from choosing to buy a house in a geographical area that gets snow).
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