Refinery29 put together a list of things single women do not want to hear in 2019.
They say that when talking to single women, sometimes people say things that offend without realizing it, abd they'd like to help people stop. They gave 7 phrases that are insensitive to single women and they don’t want to hear them anymore.
Here are my top 3 from the list, with some of my thoughts which will add even more things you probably shouldn't say to single women (or men)...
1. “It’ll happen when you aren’t looking” - why is this a problem? They say, "what kind of advice is this? Telling a woman this is about as helpful as saying “you’ll never meet anyone if you don’t try.”
- My thoughts: well, it's case by case. Maybe she (or he too BTW) is trying too hard. They think some kind of clock is ticking, which for children isn't 100% false. However, if you're trying too hard and forcing the issue, chances are you're not going to enbd up anywhere. This isn't offensive, it's jjust generic and cliche, but that doesn't make it bad or wrong.
2. “You’re too picky” - why is this a problem? They say, "Do you really think that’s the reason she’s single? Is not being picky enough the reason you’re with someone? People should be with the people they want to be with, not just take what they can get. Being picky is just fine and it’s really none of your business anyway."
My thoughts: Again, it's case by case, but yeah... that might be exactly why she (or he) is single. Look you should never settle for someone. You deserve lifelong happiness and maybe that means you NEED someone with specific traits. This isn't a bad thing, or being too picky, it's being a realist with yourself and who you are. However, most people, have no idea who they really are, and most people are blind to their actual flaws. You should have standards, but no one ever gets all the boxes checked. What do you HAVE to have (shouldn't be a long list) and what can you deal with and accept?
3. “I’m sure you’ll find someone” - why is this a problem? They say, "When someone says this, they probably mean it with love and kindness, but it’s really not as reassuring as they think. And don’t assume just because a woman is single that she’s not self confident, she is and saying insensitive things like this to her won’t help."
My Thoughts: well what else are you supposed to say when your single friend has been going on for hours about not finding anyone? "Yup, you're gonna be alone." Probably not so much. You may not want to hear this, single ladies, but it's almost always true. I believe there's no such thing as only one person out there for you. It's a romantic though, but relationships come down to circumstances, logistics, and what you can and can not tolerate. That's a cold way to look at it but to me it's true. Keeping an open mind, dating outside the box when you're not successful, and remembering that having a man in your life doesn't define you is real. Stop caring about what your friends, who maybe are engaged when you're not, think. Stop letting society's supposed rules about life and relationships control you. just worry about you.
Your thoughts: @OnAirPat on twittter and Instagram
Read the full list here: Refinery29
Cover photo from Getty Images